Conflict discussion can go one of two directions. Generally when the discussion escalates, it ends badly and neither partner has gained any ground. When the conversation de-escalates, it creates room for dialogue. In order to prevent escalation, don\u2019t find fault, don\u2019t bring up the past and don\u2019t keep going once the conversation is off the rails. Master couples have an ability to repair a conflict discussion early and often in order to keep it from escalating and becoming unproductive.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
In other words, when an argument starts to get nasty, don\u2019t fuel the fire. Recognise that, when thing get heated, it no longer matters who is wrong or right, because once you\u2019re both angry, all you\u2019ll care about is standing your ground.<\/p>\n
Instead, take steps to diffuse it. Try to find the parts of what they\u2019re saying that you DO agree with, and build from there, explaining where you feel slightly differently, and why.<\/p>\n
And whatever you do, don\u2019t let the argument shift into being about something else. If they try to move to goalposts, say something like: \u201cOk, I\u2019m happy to talk about that too, but right now can we just stay on this one topic,\u201d or even: \u201cI\u2019m not sure what we\u2019re arguing about anymore. Shall we come back to this another time when we\u2019re less het up?\u201d<\/p>\n
Be prepared to say sorry<\/h3>\n
Never underestimate the power of an apology.<\/p>\n
If you know you said things that were harsh and cruel, you became aggressive, the other person was visibly upset, or there was anything about the way you behaved that now, in the cold light of day, seems unnecessary: SAY SORRY.<\/p>\n
You don\u2019t have to tell them they were right. You don\u2019t have to back down from your stance or opinion. But DO apologise for the way you made them feel.<\/p>\n
Be kind when you\u2019re not fighting<\/h3>\n
Usually when disagreements explode into full-blown war, it\u2019s because one or both of you already resentments or relationship anxieties bubbling away.<\/p>\n
Going out of your way to show your partner that you see them, hear them, and support them during \u201cpeacetime\u201d helps make them feel safer emotionally.<\/p>\n
That means listening \u2013 really<\/i> listening \u2013 to each other, celebrating each other\u2019s successes, remembering to drop them a note or give them a call to check in when you know they\u2019re worried, in need of a pep talk or outlet (for instance, before and after an interview, exam, presentation or dreaded doctor\u2019s appointment). It also means simple, thoughtful things, like bringing them a cup of tea in the morning or running them a bath when they\u2019re exhausted.<\/p>\n
The point is, the more \u201ccared for\u201d someone feels, the less likely they are to let the claws ping out the second they feel threatened by a disagreement.<\/p>\n
Oh, and when you start to annoy each other\u2026 maybe just have a pillow fight to ease the tension instead.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Did you find this article helpful?<\/strong> <\/i><\/p>\nI\u2019d love to hear your thoughts. Please share in the comments section below.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Learn\u00a0how to fight the right way and avoid conflict with a new partner Guess what?\u00a0International Pillow Fight Day takes place this month (yes, there really is a day for everything, folks!). And, while it might sound daft, there\u2019s nothing like a light hearted playfight with your other half to let off steam, behave like big […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":151,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[20,21],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nakedmarriageonline.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/216"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nakedmarriageonline.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nakedmarriageonline.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nakedmarriageonline.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nakedmarriageonline.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=216"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/nakedmarriageonline.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/216\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17624,"href":"https:\/\/nakedmarriageonline.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/216\/revisions\/17624"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nakedmarriageonline.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/151"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nakedmarriageonline.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=216"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nakedmarriageonline.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=216"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nakedmarriageonline.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=216"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}