When Stop Making Effort

This Is What Happens When You Stop Making An Effort…

How did you picture relationships when you were a kid? Did you imagine the fairy tale of falling in love, making a commitment and living happily ever after? If so, join the club. Disney has a lot to answer for when it comes to preparing kids for real life. Stories about falling in love always end with "I do" - but we all know that's where the hard work begins. Relationships need nurture and care; not just in the first flush of romance, when you're falling in love, or on your honeymoon. Forever. Relationships are hard work,...

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Naked Marriage - Cling-On-Marriage

Cling On – or let go? Pt3

Okay, we’ve now talked about how your relationship dynamic affects your basic needs to feel safe and secure Part One and your psychological need to feel loved and valued Part Two. But what about the top of the pyramid: self-fulfilment?   Self-fulfilment In the grand scheme of things, at least for people from most walks of life, the chance to feel ‘fulfilled’ is a pretty new idea. In the past, a lot of couples would largely have settled for security, fidelity and companionship. But in the last 50 years or so, all...

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Naked Marriage - Cling-On-Marriage

Cling on – or let go? Pt2

In part 1 of this series, I talked about how all humans have a basic need to feel safe and secure, and how to make sure that you offer that to your partner in ways that are healthy and not controlling or counterproductive. But this is only the tip of the iceberg. Or, in Maslovian terms, the base of the pyramid. To recap, this is Maslov’s Hierarchy of Needs:   Okay, now let’s move on…   Psychological needs. The...

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Naked Marriage - Cling on to marriage

Cling on – or let go? Pt1

They take no notice of me. They don’t support me or show any interest in my job, or my passions, or my interests. They don’t listen. They seem bored when we’re together. I don’t feel they’re proud to be with me. They don’t call or text to see how I’m doing. They’re always too busy to talk. I feel I’m last on their list of priorities. It’s like we’re not even a couple. I feel suffocated. They won’t let me breathe I feel suffocated. They won’t let me breathe. They’re jealous. They want to know where I am...

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